My Last Dance

Most of you know that I used to be a uniformed police officer in suburban Detroit.

During that time, I was no stranger to dancing, partying, and generally having a good time. Once when I was working midnights, I got off work at 7:00 am and went to a neighborhood bar with a group of fellow officers. I didn’t have to work again that night, so I didn’t leave that bar until 2:00 the next morning.

We drank, danced, sang from the stage unaccompanied (pre-karaoke), danced more, and generally had an epic good time. Friends came and went during the course of that 19 hours, but a few of us stayed the entire time and created a local legend.

But when Maren Hogan crooked her finger at me from the dance floor of a bar in Atlanta, on the second night of the annual SHRM conference I recently attended, I shook my head and stayed put on my bar stool. A short time after that, a lovely young woman who had been dancing approached me, leaned down, and gently asked, “are you alright?”

I guess I looked lonely sitting there on that bar stool alone, watching others dance, talking to no one.

I wasn’t lonely at all. I was at a massive HR conference, blogging, connecting, networking, and learning. I went to the bar and had one glass of wine and networked a little, and enjoyed watching others dance. But I didn’t stay long.

I needed to get back to my hotel and blog.

I’ve had plenty of opportunities to party and have a good time in my life, you see, and I have taken advantage of all of them. But blogging, and being a part of the HR Blogger Network,  is a new an exciting opportunity that I want to maximize as long as I am able. I am part of a group of professionals that is smart, insightful, encouraging, and helpful. To be a part of that group, and stay excited and energized, all I have to do is keep writing.

Networking and developing relationships face to face is a great thing, and I love to do that. I did plenty of it at the SHRM conference. That young woman at the bar who asked if I was okay?  We had a nice discussion after I told her I was fine, and now we’re connected on LinkedIn.

I would not have made that connection if I was on the dance floor. It’s hard to make a real connection while you are partying and dancing and yelling at the top of your lungs to be heard over the music. And you certainly can’t review your notes, or think about what you learned that day, or write your blog from there.

So I hope no one feels sorry for me – or thinks I’m snobbish – if I don’t join you on the dance floor, or stand up drinking with you at a crowded bar (I’m getting both knees replaced in early September, and they can’t handle to extra pressure), or if I skip the party all together and run back to my hotel.

I’m not missing a thing, because my computer and I have a brand new dance to do. I’m having a great time at this dance – and it may be my last one. I want to make the most of it.






7 thoughts on “My Last Dance”

  1. We make our own fun, we create our own opportunities and we make our own bonds. Joan, this is such a wonderful, impactfull message for me. One of the great things about this community of ours is that people support you in whatever path you take. great writing Joan.

  2. So true, Lisa. Thanks for the kind words, and I hope I get to talk to you lots at HR Florida. Maybe we can get a walk in!

  3. Joan,
    you dance with your words, warmth and personality. Always a pleasure to be in your company, and I’m not much of a dancer!
    This ones for you

  4. Thank so much, Bill Boorman. I appreciate how much you have done to connect the HR/recruiting communities in the UK and the USA. Even if you Brits aren’t much for hugging. 😉


    Thanks so much, Robin. I didn’t see you very much in Atlanta, though, and I am not sure when our paths will cross again. Sooner than later, I hope.

  5. It’s a lovely post and you make an excellent point. It’s tough to produce great work when you are burning the candle at both ends, and certainly not a lifetime pursuit. You bring joy wherever you go and it’s always such a pleasure to see you. I’ve never once thought you were snobbish and it never hurts my feelings when someone is disinclined to dance (believe it or not I have those times!) However, I’ll defend to my death the ability of dancing and singing with one another as a GREAT way to make connections (also a great way to lose your voice :)

  6. Thanks so much, Maren. Burning the candle at both ends was a plan at one time in my life, as I tried to explain. It’s just not possible or desirable any more. But if you can do it – I say go for it.

    I’m glad you can make connections through dancing. Even in my younger days I found that a good way to solidify connections, but not to make them. Then again, you are far more talented than I am. :)

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